All my life I have been trying to figure out what freedom truly meant. At one point, I thought I had to make a certain amount of money so that I could be free, then me being my own boss, and then that evolved to being in control of how I spent my time. I should be able to get up in the morning, grab a ready to go travel bag and just got to the airport and buy a plane ticket and disappear. That is what I thought until after going deeper within my being.
My spiritual journey started long before I started meditating, but it didn’t really hit me until I found my vulnerability through the the discovery course with MITT out in LA that my friend recommended me to go to. After feeling more than what I was able to feel before, I was interested in the breathe and the power behind it such as activating the vagus nerve. As I researched online I stumbled upon the word Vipassana. It was either on a TED Talk or just in an article. I don’t even remember. All I know I looked up the word Vipassana and found out they had centers offering this meditation donation based and everything about it sounded so pure and right up my alley. It just resonated with me and and at that very moment I decided to apply to the very next one I could get into.
My first 10-day sit was a blur. So many things happened and during the whole time I tried to remember things so I could write about them later, but the feelings coming and going where just too many to recall. I remember being very determined and sat every hour I could physically pull myself through. I tried very hard to listen to the instructions and understand them correctly, but the first 2-3 days were a struggle and I couldn’t even make myself use my natural breath because I couldn’t comprehend it from the daily instructions. I had to go to an interview and have the assistant teacher tell me to use natural breath so that it would click. It was bizarre. There were many more moments of surrender throughout the 10-days, but I did enjoy the noble silence and not having my phone on me. I felt like I had more time to take care of myself. It also made me feel closer to myself as I spent more time within and just really started noticing little habits and thought patterns I was conditioned with. It really opened up my mind to be more receiving and giving.
I now meditate regularly. It has taught me the value of impermanence so that I can live more in the present and see things as they really are. I am freeing myself of a life based on reactions from my past habits/triggers and can just be. I’ve been sitting and serving more courses since and felt that a 10-day course could be improved in the sense of preparation. So I’ve put together with the help of other’s experiences a prep guide in hopes to serve new students to feel ready for a deep exploration within. I have a lot of respect for anyone who is willing to use 10-days of their valuable life to try out Vipassana meditation retreat and I really just want them to be able to get the most out of that time and experience.